


no rest for the wicked (even if they deserve it)

by extrastellar



Series: SuperBatFam [4]
Category: DCU, Nightwing (Comics), The Flash (Comics)
Genre: Batfamily (DCU), Dick Grayson Needs a Hug, Family Dynamics, Flashgreenade family, M/M, Minor Barry Allen/Hal Jordan, Minor Clark Kent/Bruce Wayne, Superfamily (DCU), and a week off on the maledives tbh, superbatfam
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-10
Updated: 2020-03-10
Packaged: 2021-03-01 00:01:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,158
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23096011
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/extrastellar/pseuds/extrastellar
Summary: Being an older brother can be tough. But being an older brother to sixteen (or were there more? Fewer?) superpowered and/or vigilante siblings can be considered a human rights violation soometimes, if you ask Dick Grayson.Or:Dick just wants a day off with his husband but his family seems adamant on stopping him from enjoying just that.
Relationships: Dick Grayson/Wally West
Series: SuperBatFam [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1259030
Comments: 5
Kudos: 296





	no rest for the wicked (even if they deserve it)

Dick didn't know how all of this happened. How he, from growing up alone with a man who lived behind masks, ended up with fourteen siblings. Twenty-two, if you counted Luke, Tiffany, Harper, Cullen, Babs, Kenan, Nissa and Max. And Kate and Kara were over so much, they basically counted in as well, though maybe not as siblings.

And although Chris was older, or at least as old as Dick, Dick had become "the oldest sibling". And he loved big families, he was a proud _Romani_ , it was integral to his culture and growing up in a circus? Where everyone took care of everyone like a big family? He _craved_ it.

But sometimes... it got a bit much.

Sometimes, all Dick wanted was a break. He wanted to go home to Wally, in Blüdhaven, in their apartment, and cuddle up in bed and just. Relax. Take a breather. Just for a few hours. Recuperate, get some time for himself, without Alfred, Bruce, Clark or one of his siblings and step-siblings calling to break up a fight or go catch some criminals or help out with _homework_.

"Dickie?"

Dick's head snapped up and he groaned. "Sorry, Wall. What's up?"

Wally just plopped onto the couch next to his husband, placing a cup of steaming coffee in front of him. "Saw you moping. Can't have that."

Dick smiled dryly. "Yeah. Thank you."

Wally cocked his head. "You wanna talk about it?"

He shook his head. "It's nothing specific. Just. A mood."

Wally stretched out his arms with a warm grin. "Can a Wally West-Grayson™ hug make it better?"

Dick huffed and settled against Wally's chest, tucking his head under his chin. Wally immediately pulled him flush against him, his body vibrating just the smallest bit to help Dick relax.

Which was when his phone started ringing.

Dick closed his eyes and sat back up. The called ID showed Steph. Steph only ever called when she had locked herself out of the batcave because Dick was pretty much the only one who didn't tease her about it every time it happened (Jason, Tim, Babs, Harper, Damian and occasionally Duke) or held a lecture about the security of the cave (Bruce. And Alfred. But mainly Bruce). Cass never used the conventional entrances, so Dick was her go-to.

He moved to pick up, but Wally grabbed his wrist.

"C'mon, Dickie. She can call one of the others. There's more than enough of you Batlings."

Dick considered yanking his wrist free (Wally's grip was loose, destined to make him wait, not to restrain him), picking up and telling Steph the combination same as he usually did.

But Wally was right. There were Jason, Tim, Damian, Barbara, Harper, Cass, Duke, Luke, Terry, Matt, Nissa, Tiffany and Kate she could call. She could also call Alfred or Bruce himself. Dick didn't have to play portier for her.

Wally gently pulled him back, Dick's back flush against his chest. The phone's ringing ceased and a notification popped up notifying Dick of a missed call.

"You're a family workaholic", Wally claimed and nuzzled Dick's hair.

Dick hummed. "Can't deny that."

His phone went off again, pinging with notifications.

"Who?"

Wally glanced at the screen. "Conner. Got trouble with Lane or something."

Dick groaned. "I should answer that. Laney could be trashing the mansion as we speak."

"Or", Wally suggested. "You let Chris handle that one? Or, I don't know, Clark?"

Dick gave him a flat look. "Wally, we both know that Clark is the last person Laney would _ever_ listen to."

"You have a point. I'll admit that."

"Can you text him back?", Dick asked, too lazy to sit up and get his phone. "He should get Jason, he's Laney's team leader. The two get on like a house on fire. Think Jaybird's more useful now than me."

Wally grabbed the phone of the table, unlocked it with his finger ("Aw, you finally saved my fingerprint!") and shot the text message back. "Done!"

"Thanks", Dick murmured and closed his eyes, just relishing in the feel of Wally's naturally elevated heartbeat against his back, the heat from his husband's body and the _quiet_ of their home.

Until his phone buzzed. Again.

"Dickie", Wally whined when Dick sat up with a grumble and grabbed his phone to check who was calling.

The house phone.

Great.

"I should really take this one", Dick said and accepted the video call. Instead of Bruce's or Alfred's face, the only ones who actually still used the house phone, Clark showed up on the screen. "Uh, hi, Clark?"

" _Dick, thank God you picked up_ ", Clark said, sounding genuinely relieved. Dick could hear screams in the background. Damian, if he had to pinpoint the voice. And Harper. " _I can't get in touch with Bruce_."

Dick wanted to cry. "How long has he been gone?"

" _Just two days. Have you heard from him? I could really use his help here._ "

Dick shook his head. "No. But two days isn't that long. You should ask Tim, he keeps track of all of Dad's business trips."

" _I'll do that_ ", Clark said and closed his eyes when something shattered in the background followed by Laney cackling and an angry cry that Dick would put on Steph. " _I really need him_."

A distant call of "SHAZAM!" fried the picture for a moment and when the picture was clear again, Clark bolted up and plucked Kon and Billy out of the air.

" _Dick_ ", Clark said. " _Could you—_ "

Before Dick could answer, Wally pushed into the frame.

"Hiii, Clark", he said cheerfully. "Dick and I have plans. Think Superman can handle the brood on his own today?"

Clark did not look assured at all. Krypto flew through the frame, chasing a hissing Alfred the cat. A second later, Duke was running after them, followed by Bran, both yelling for Krypto to get back.

" _This is as bad as Doomsday_ ", Clark said. " _I might have to call Lois_."

Lois was still a miracle worker with the Supers. The Batlings only listened to Alfred, Bruce and Dick. And Babs. And even then, only with lots and lots of moaning and bickering.

"Thanks, Clark", Dick said. "Good luck."

" _Superman out_ ", Clark said, resignation evident on his face.

"Your family is a mess, Dickie."

"Says the one with The Flash and a Green Lantern as his surrogate fathers, a cousin from the 30th century, said cousin's clone and a Green Lantern stepbrother. And all of you are speedsters, except for Hal and Kyle." Dick shrugged. "Pot, kettle. Also, you married into this family."

Wally shuddered. "How could I forget? I almost died asking Bats and Big Blue for their blessing."

Dick snorted. "What, did Dad pull the Batglare?"

Wally pulled Dick back on the couch. "Bats was the easy one! Clark was _so_ protective. I mean, Bats has known about us for years, he was as chill as he could get, I think."

"I think Clark was afraid of losing his big gun to keep the kids in check."

Wally snickered. "They should stop adopting kids then. Billy is a blessing, I love that kid. Laney is a little asshole."

Dick grinned. "You love him anyway."

The speedster clutched his chest. "What can I do, Dickiebird? I have a heart too big for just you and me!"

Dick's grin softened into a smile and he sat up, turning so that he was facing Wally. Their legs were intertwined. "About that..."

Wally froze. "Dick?"

Dick fidgeted with the hem of his sweater, before he started: "l know, I have Mar'i and Jake and you have Irey and Jai, but... I really. Really. Reallywannaadoptakidwithyou, Wall."

Hadn't Wally been a speedster, he wouldn't have caught any of that.

"A kid?"

Wally shifted around and looked at his husband sitting opposite him tense as a bowstring. Technically, there were already four kids between them, but both of them shared custody. They had talked about having and adopting kids when they were in their late teens, like most friends did, and both had agreed that they wanted to adopt at some point. Dick especially, since he himself and most of his siblings were adopted. Truth be told, Wally had thought that Dick discarded the thought after having Mar'i and Jake. And after Linda and him divorced, Wally hadn't been in a good place and he hadn't been able to imagine having kids with anyone else, biological or adopted. But now... being married to Dick, his oldest friend, whom he was crazy in love with?

"Isn't that... too soon?", Wally asked carefully. Dick was a wonderful father and Wally thought he was doing a pretty decent job at dad'ing with Irey and Jai. He'd be lying if he hadn't thought about having a kid with Dick back when he first started falling for his best friend, but they hadn't been married for a long time and Wally was worried what their kids from first marriages would think and feel if their fathers got a child 'just for themselves' instead of how they had to share _them_. "We've only been married for a bit over a year, Dickie."

"I didn't mean right now!", Dick hurried to say. "I just..." He sighed. "Yeah, my siblings stress me out, my dads are exhausting, but I love them and I wouldn't trade them for the world. I love my kids more than anything in the world and I adore your kids like they're my own and we're a family, custody rights don't matter. I really... really want our family to grow, Wall."

Dick rubbed the side of his neck. "And, uh, Jai and Jake both asked for a younger sibling last time they were over."

Wally perked up. "Wait, what? Really?"

Dick shrugged, a smile playing at his lips. "Yeah. They were playing house and whined about not having someone to play the kid."

"That is so pure." Wally clutched his chest and grinned like a moron. "Damn."

"And then they came running and started begging me to get them a baby sibling", Dick went on. "I promised them to ask you."

Wally let out a shuddering breath and leaned forward to kiss his husband. "Rob, I love you."

Dick smiled into the kiss. "Mmmh, you better."

Wally knocked their foreheads together and dipped down to chase his husband's lips, when—

" _DICKWAD GRAYSON, PICK UP YOUR FUCKING PHONE!_ ", his phone started blaring. " _DICKWAD GRAYSON PICK UP YOUR FUCKING PHONE!"_

Wally shot back and sputtered. "What the hell?!"

Dick groaned. "Jason. He never calls, so he set this lovely audio as his ringtone so that I know it is serious."

He picked up the call and didn't even have to put it on speaker.

" _DICK! FUCK'S SAKE, FINALLY!_ "

"Hey, lil wing", Dick said, a barely concealed sigh in his voice. "What's up?"

" _What's up?! Steph and Tim, the little devils, put Silver Kryptonite into Krypto's dog food for 'field studies'! Dick, the fucking flying dog is high!_ "

Wally snorted. "Are the Supers also stoned?"

" _Clark, Bran and Chris are useless. Giggling. They're as high as Krypto. Got a whiff of Silver Kryptonite and they were gone. Stupid pure-Kryptonian DNA. They're floating under the ceiling right now, let themselves drop and float up again like_ idiots. _Laney, Kon and Jon are sorta coherent and trying to chase the barking floofball, but Dick, if you don't move your ass here—_ "

"Not today, Jaybird", Dick cut him off.

" _Have you listened to what I just said? The Kryptonian dog is loose! And high!_ "

"And I'm sure Dad has a contingency plan for that", Dick said. "I'm taking a self-care day. Stay whelmed!"

" _I hate you_ ", Jason grumbled. " _If this goes to shit, I'm holding you responsible, Dicholas_."

The call ended and Dick shook his head. "Jay's a worse drama queen than Dami."

"I think you own first place though, Dickie. Half of the flips you do in the field are for show."

Dick tossed a pillow at his husband's face, who dodged it in a blur of speed.

They sat there for a moment.

Dick sighed. "We should probably help them out."

Wally popped a nacho into his mouth. "No-pe."

"Okay, we— wait, hold up, what? You not up for it?"

Wally shrugged. "Dick, you seriously need a break. Your family is more gigantic than Bats' issues and you're not their babysitter. They're adults."

Dick scowled. "Not all of them. They might genuinely need help."

"With what?" Wally put the nachos aside.

"Three pureblood Kryptonians are stoned, KF."

"Dickie, they're giggling", Wally said, exasperation sneaking into his voice. "The others have it covered. If something intergalactic or some big gun villain comes up, the JLA will step up. If it's just a little family drama lama, they can handle it themselves, right?"

Dick didn't particularly like that logic. Wally was right, of course he was, Dick was not the whole clan's handler. They _were_ , mostly, adults. And to be honest, Dick was tired and drained of his family's antics. Maybe he really did need a day off.

"Fine", he said and jabbed his finger against Wally's sternum. "But if the Manor blows up, _you_ put it back together brick by brick."

Wally rolled his eyes. "Okay, deal."

Dick made a grab for his phone and switched it off before falling back against Wally's chest.

He got about three minutes of peace, until a piercing wail of "Daddy! Daddy!" tore through the air.

Dick closed his eyes.

"Jake", he moaned softly. "Why now?"

"Want me to check on him?", Wally offered and already moved to get up.

"It's fine", Dick said and shuffled into the nursery where Jake was — or had been — napping. Mar'i was at the Manor with Helena for a playdate (come to think of it, that was a bit worrying) and Irey and Jai were with Linda this weekend.

"Hey Jakey", he said and lifted his three year old out of the bed, sniffling and clinging to him like a baby koala. "What's up, chum? Hm? Bad dream?"

A jerky nod.

"You want something to eat?"

A shake.

"To drink?"

Another shake and a muffled: "Jus' hold."

Dick's heart basically melted and he pressed kisses to his son's mop of black hair. "Just hold. Gotcha. It's okay, Jakey. Daddy's here."

He rocked himself gently and patted his son's back until Jake's sobbing breaths ceased into deep inhales and exhales again.

"Wanna watch a cartoon with Wally and me?", he asked and pressed a soft kiss to Jake's temple.

Jake didn't speak, only nodded, so Dick carried him back into the living room.

"Heeey, Jakey-Shake", Wally called and Jake lifted his head to look at his grinning stepfather. "You alright?"

Jake nodded. "Yeah."

Wally patted the couch next to him. "Wanna sit next to me?"

The toddler contemplated this for a moment, then nodded again and wiggled out of Dick's hold to climb onto the sofa next to Wally, where he immediately attached himself to his side.

Wally put an arm around his stepson and gave Dick, who was watching them in amusement, a bright grin. "Need an extra invitation, Officer?"

Dick rolled his eyes. "Oh drop the act, Dr. West-Grayson."

Wally shuddered. "God. _Doctor_. That's gonna take a lot of time to get used to."

"Yeah, normally it takes people a couple of years to write their doctoral thesis", Dick said and snatched their mugs from the coffee table, quietly mourning his now cold coffee. "You did in what, eight months?"

"Seven and a half", Wally corrected and grinned. "While being a dad of speedster twins and a superhero at the same time, if I may say so."

Dick rolled his eyes and flicked Wally's forehead. "Quit bragging, KF. Jake, you want some cereal?"

"Weetabis", Jake said.

"Weetabix it is." Though Dick couldn't understand how anyone could forego Lucky Charms. "Wall—"

Dick's League communicator beeped.

" _Nightwing_ ", Batman's gravelly voice crackled. " _Nightwing, come in."_

Dick's good mood immediately plummeted. Great. So Bruce couldn't check in with Clark, his _husband_ , after disappearing for two days, but he could bother Dick on his day off. Just great.

"I'm off duty, Bruce, a workaholic like you may not get that, but I like spending time at home, in peace!", he snarled into the comm.

" _This is an emergency_."

"Did the Joker break out?"

" _The Joker is safely contained at Arkham_."

"The Riddler then? Penguin? Any other big villain gun?"

" _No, they—_ "

Dick turned the comm off.

Wally gaped at him.

"The _balls_ to cut off Bats like that — Dick, you're officially my new personal superhero", he said and did a theatrical bow. Jake couldn't possibly have understood what they were talking about, but he nodded enthusiastically anyway.

"Yeah, not looking forward to the next mission though", Dick groaned and rubbed his forehead. "B's gonna send me into the sewers as punishment for this little gig."

Wally raised his mug. "Honestly? Worth it, if you ask me."

Dick grinned and dropped next to Jake, tousling his son's hair. "Kind of, right? Still got it."

"Robbsy, if you ask me, you never lost it", Wally said with a wink and Dick probably would have climbed on his lap and snogged him until they were both breathless any other time, but alas, there was a toddler sitting between them right now, munching on the cereal Dick had fetched him.

"So quiet day at home?", Dick asked instead.

"Cheers to that", Wally said and lifted his mug again.

Which was when Wally's phone started buzzing, indicating a call from Bart.

Both Wally and Dick groaned.

"You know, sometimes I hate being part of a superpowered family", Wally grumbled and hit the 'ignore call'-button.

"Amen, bro", Dick said and switched the TV on to the kids' channel for Jake. "You should probably—"

It started buzzing again.

"—turn it off", Dick finished and Wally snatched the phone off the table. Hal's contact info was on the screen and Wally seemed to contemplate accepting the call.

"Wall, you can't tell me to shut my phone off if my family calls and then go behind my back like this", Dick warned.

"I knooowwww", Wally whined and fiddled with the still buzzing phone until it went to voicemail.

_'You have one new message. First message. Saturday, 13:19 from: Hal. "Hey Wall, d'you know where Bar keeps the blue visa card? I'm craving Chipotle and I'm outta cash. Because long-term mission. In outer space. No ATMs. You know. Call me back, man, I'm starving here." End of message.'_

Wally slapped his hand against his forehead. "Dick, help, my stepdad's a human disaster."

Dick snickered. "I like the differences in emergencies between our families."

"Hey!" Wally pointed at Dick in mock accusing. "I'll have you know that hungry speedsters are a whole different kind of hangry."

"Last time I checked Hal's not a speedster, KF."

"He's one by marriage, that counts."

Dick rolled his eyes, but grinned. "Whatever helps you sleep at night."


End file.
